Eagles vs. Commanders

/r/eagles Game Thread Analysis
September 25, 2022

Game Thread Summary

9526 total comments

158.767 comments per minute

4718 Positive comments

Most Positive
/u/methodin8.59999966621399

Most Prolific
/u/gershalom152 comments

1565 total authors

6.087 comments per author

4808 Negative comments

Most Negative
/u/geodude555-17.29999990016222

Most Emotional
/u/JalenHurtsMVP202284.90000055730343

Recent Threads

Game Thread All Stars

MVP:

/u/misseskissessexting

86 Comments

47.70000021159649 Emotion

-15.00000013411045 Pos/Neg

7 catches 156 yards in 1 half for Smith. Remember when we had Greg Ward and Jalen Reagor as our starting receivers? It feels like Ive left an abusive relationship and have finally found love

Be a thermostat not a thermometer

I love the way Miles Sanders penetrates the hole. He goes in hard and fast

I hate this field

All-Thread 1st Team
/u/gershalom Emotion: 5.999999918043613Magnitude: 83.80000101774931

Lets fucking sack the shit out of them

/u/belgiumwaffles Emotion: -6.200000166893005Magnitude: 40.80000023543835

Reminds me when we drafted Sanders and he would have had a walk in wide open td but Wentz through jt 10 ft above his head while not under pressure

/u/_token_black Emotion: -15.700000174343586Magnitude: 34.60000026226044

Also pink haired people with tattoos on their face, theres probably less of those in PA than total yards for the Commanders

/u/jawny-appleseed Emotion: -11.000000044703484Magnitude: 16.000000081956387

jesus i cant believe i ever believed in wentz good god hes terrible

F-Bombs Dropped*

*this accounts derivatives of "fuck", which includes "fuuuuuk" and "fook", as well as the phonetic "phuck", and also acronyms such as "wtf" and "gtfo". "Fuck dallas" counts double, as per tradition.

756 fucks given

12.6 FPM

7.936% all comments


Ebbs and Fucks

Top Bomb Droppers

/u/Hi_There_Face_Here gave 30 fucks.

/u/gershalom gave 25 fucks.

/u/BulldogMoose gave 12 fucks.

Most Metaphorical Bomb

/u/Minstrel_Minster1203 Ik everyone will Boo Wentz when he comes to town for the Monday Night Game... but at this point I almost feel bad.It's like booing the Russians during the Special Olympics. Yes, there Russians and fuck Russia, but its the Special Olympics...

Most Likely Targeted Bomb

/u/DELCO-PHILLY-BOY THATS WHAT YOU GET YOU GINGER FUCK

Most Supportive Bomb

/u/BrandNew85 This commentary team never shut the fuck up nor say anything of value.

Most Elequent Bomb

/u/hesitimbo WHTEHAIOBGDIOSANGIOESANFIUOENAS IFEJSOPIA FHEIOPA JFEPIA JFIOEA NGEAW WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Most Accurate Bomb

/u/Snoo93673 Fuck the cumhandlers

Most Community Focused Bomb

/u/TheArchitect_7 To all you fucking bums complaining about being up 24-2, about to be 3-0, go fuck yourselves

Obligatory Bomb

/u/el_fitzador Fuck dallas, fuck the giants

Drank References

22 drink references

"beer" Most referenced

Most Confident Comment

/u/ReservoirBaws I mean according to beer companies, beers after everything is a thing

Most Generous Comment

/u/PronouncedShnayBlay Hello everybody! I am at the game right now. Section 204. I am standing beside the silent auction. Come say hi! I snuck in a fresh pack of gabagool and a ziplock full of homemade wine. I will share. Come by! I am wearing the blue eagles fitted and a foles SuperBowl jersey.

Most Generous and Angry Comment

/u/PronouncedShnayBlay **HELLO EVERYBODY!!! I AM AT THE GAME RIGHT NOW. SECTION 204. I AM STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY BY THE SILENT AUCTION. COME SAY HI. I WILL SHARE SOME FRESH FRESH FUCKING GABAGOOL I SNUCK IN. I ALSO WILL GIVE YOU SOME OF MY HOMEMADE WINE I SNUCK INTO THE GAME UNDER MY WAISTBAND!! COME SAY HI!! I AM WEARING THE BLUE EAGLES FITTED AND A FOLES SUPERBOWL JESERY. SECTION 204**

Most Affectionate Comment

/u/Real_TwistedVortex Seriously! Hurts is only a year older than me. I could totally see myself having a beer with the dude while playing smash bros or cod or something

Most Accurate Comment

/u/jimmyjak87 Im damn near day drunk at 2:41 to tell you i love the vibes of this team and were going to the Super Bowl ladies and gentleman

Emotions

Positive


#1 Most Positive Comment Score: 5.5555555555

/u/PhiladeIphia-Eagles Shutout game. 7 sacks. Defense is too soft lmao. Doomer fans ruin the fun every time. You're also just wrong. The defense has been amazing. What more could you ask for. It's a shutout

#2 Most Positive Comment Score: 3.700000047683716

/u/ImWhiteWhatsJCoal The difference in performance from last year is insane. Our offense specifically. They're making incredible catches and have so many tools at their disposal. And our defense with Slay and Co is killing it. 8 sacks against the guy who led our charge to the super bowl?! This is next-level shit.

#3 Most Positive Comment Score: 3.0999999046325684

/u/NotLordVader Did we just hear that the Verizon halftime show is sponsored by Verizon? I thought that T-Mobile might have been giving some free publicity to a rival.That aside, holy shit we look fucking spectacular right now. Everything is working. The defense is playing brilliantly, the offense is playing brilliantly, and we are making Carson Wentz look so bad. Love it.


Negative


#1 Most Negative Comment Score: -5.300000190734863

/u/BulldogMoose trash competitor. There's no reason to take it easy on anyone let a lone a spoiled child who asked to leave. Fuck it! He didn't even ask. Bitch pouted and wouldn't talk to anybody until his ass was traded. Then it turns out he's such a poor teammate that he gets run out of Indianapolis. So no. No pity for anyone. Especially no pity for Carson

#2 Most Negative Comment Score: -5.000000000000

/u/IHaveNeverBeenOk Can we score some points in the second half? This has gone from embarrassing to truly concerning. Not every team is going to just lie down in the second half. We can't just show up in the first half alone. This team has real problems, and people are mostly ignoring it because we're winning games. I'm starting to be concerned that they're pretty serious problems. Someone is going to come along and absolutely embarrass us. Probably once we play a good team (Lions, excuse me, you look good.)

#3 Most Negative Comment Score: -3.5999999046325684

/u/TapTheMack This is just ass chapping. This prevent defense. Letting them back in the game. Soft ass second half offense. Every fucking game. Why? We cant we just keep playing the same way. It makes me wanna tear my pubes out.